How to Marry a Female Motivational Speaker/Life Coach

By Leroi Iniobong Umoh

Motivational speakers are busy saving the world but they make good wives. They are in control of their reality and know how to manage their husbands and homes.

Gentlemen, the first step in marrying a motivational speaker is to get her attention. A motivational speaker tends to filter who and what she gives her attention to, so if you want her attention you have to use key motivational words and phrases.

In the online world, start by updating your Facebook posts with, “I want to acquire a desire that I admire”. Keep using these rhythmic words and catch phrases. Also start tagging her to your posts. With time she will start liking and commenting on them. Congrats, you’ve gotten her attention.

The next step is to go to her inbox and type, “Hello, a life without purpose is a life of purposelessness, you are the purpose designed to change my lifelessness”

She will reply with “aww” and with a smiley face. Congratulations!

My brother, to get her to fall in love with you, you must dress well. You don’t stand a chance wooing her in a tee-shirt and jean. Motivational speakers prefer men dressed in suits and holding microphones in their hands. So go and rent a suit if you don’t have one, it doesn’t matter if it is oversized. Just get the suit and a mic. Take a photo of you standing at a podium with the mic and speaking to an empty hall. Crop out the empty hall. Now use the photo as your profile picture and for all your subsequent posts. Use the Hashtag #InwangSpeaks at the end of your posts. Congratulations you’ve branded yourself as a motivational speaker. She will start seeing you in a different light and would be reacting “love” on all your posts. Shoot your shot bro, she would be very receptive.

To marry a motivational speaker, my brother do a research and find out which popular speakers she admires, then start using updating your social media posts with their quotes. Is it Zig Ziglar, John Maxwell, Les Brown, Jim Rohn, Brain Tracy, Eric Thomas? Etc, plaster their quotes all over your page. Print the quotes on your shirts, trousers and on your face. She will be impressed….Finally someone who reads good books and listen to good speakers! As time goes on, start coining your own quotes with the hashtag #InwangQuotes: ‘Your solution lies in the evolution that will lead to your revolution.’ #InwangQuotes

How do you expect a motivational speaker to fall in love with you when you have not hosted any seminar, webinar or Whatsapp masterclass? My brother if you want her to commit her future to you, you must host a master class. It is the standard practice. Choose a topic for your masterclass: “How to roar like a lion in 2019”, “Ball like a boss conference” etc. Get a good graphics designer to design the eflyer. Your picture must be conspicuous on the flyer. Then start publicing the masterclass all over social media. Invite your crush to be one of the resource persons or to attend as a student. Don’t worry if you have no frigging idea about how masterclasses are run or what to use as course materials. Google is your friend and will bail you out. Holding a masterclass gives you bragging rights and credibility. She will say Yes to you when you pop the question.

To marry a motivational speaker you must speak motivationese. That’s her language. So when armed robbers break into your house and rob you of all your possessions, when narrating the event to her at a later date, tell her that you were robbed but you are not perturbed because robbery is the highway to discovery that leads to recovery.

To marry a motivational speaker, approach her as a broken man looking for direction to the right path in life. Tell her you want her to be your life coach. She will jump at the opportunity to repair and remold your life. In the process of counseling, one thing will lead to another and before you know it, we will all be eating Jollof rice at your wedding.

So my brothers, I wish you good luck but be cautious because if you break the heart of a motivational speaker, you will discover that when you acquire the desire you admire and retire, it will backfire, all your problems will rewire and refire, making your life hellfire!

#HowToSeries

#Leritude